Dear San Antonio Spurs...

First of all, just to get it out of the way: Fuck you.

Due to your lack of productivity and general mediocrity over the past couple seasons, I had completely forgotten my deep hatred for your franchise. I always admired David Robinson for his hard work and solid fundamentals, but I could never respect him. He never had the heart to really give it to Hakeem the Dream. It was like he was satisfied with the stats and didn't care about the fact that he was second best.

Then came Tim Duncan after Robinson was injured for a season and you essentially robbed the NBA of the #1 overall pick in the lottery draft at the best time possible. So obviously you lucked up on your first championship due to an injury and a robbery.

You got lucky when Shaq and Kobe grew jealous of each other and parted ways. You went out of the country to find a French homo and a wild man from Argentina (who is actually the only person on your team that I respect) and you followed a fruit cake named "The Big Fundamental" to a couple more NBA titles.

However, you never showed any heart. Ever. Let's not get it twisted. Your band of crafty old veterans and cheap shot specialists (see: Bowen) never had me convinced.

But today I forgot for a moment. I went through the games of the day:

I knew that Lebron would lead his team past the Miami Heat, even when they were 9.5 point favorites. I believed in my alma mater, USC, to win a pick 'em game against Cal at home. Portland was no match for the Zags in Spokane and I felt good enough about Gonzaga to cover 8.5.

Then there was you vs. Portland. Portland. Brandon Roy, out. Travis Outlaw, out. Greg Oden, out. Joel Przybilla, out. I'm not sure if you knew this, but that's four out of five starters that aren't even in uniform for the Blazers. Your entire roster is healthy. Even old ass Michael Finley suited up tonight.

So I unwisely decided to include you as a two-point favorite as the fourth team in my parlay.

You headed into halftime with a two point lead. This is solid for me and I actually thought you might be able to pull it off.

Nearing the end of the third quarter, you looked to be giving in to the Blazers when Manu hit two three-pointers to close out the quarter up eight points. Eight.

At this point I was happy. USC had just won and I told my friend "Wow, I never thought I'd be rooting for the Spurs." LOL @ me.

In the fourth quarter, you extended your lead to ten. But then, some moron named Popovich decided to bench Tony Parker for George Hill. I know, not even you know who George Hill is but believe me he's on your team. So Andre Miller goes to work and abuses Hill. Martell Webster, essentially the only three-point threat on the court for Portland, is left wide-the-fuck-open in the corner and drains a three-pointer.

Everyone on your shit squad looks at each other with a "Were you guarding him?" expression on their face while old ass Popovich slams his hands on the scorer's table.

Portland takes the lead with a minute left. Then they call timeout, killing all of their momentum and giving you the option to insert TP into the game. Basically they did you a huge fucking favor, you fucking imbeciles.

Coming out of the timeout, Portland and it's crew of second stringers hand the ball to... YOU. And what do you do with it? You give it to Tim Duncan, your all-world "super star" so he can turn it over. Manu does the same and I realize why I have hated you forever.

You have no heart. I made the mistake of betting on you. I woke up from the dream that I could win a four-teamer with you after all my other games easily covered and you led by 10 in the 4th. Not only that, but fucking Miller misses a free throw to give you yet ANOTHER opportunity to tie the game, but you obviously miss a wide open three to tie it.

Fuck you, San Antonio. I knew it was a curse when I realized I was actually rooting for you. Shame on me.

Never again will I bet on you. I don't give a fuck if you are 60 point underdogs to my daughter's YMCA team, I will never wager one fucking dollar on your horrid piece of shit franchise.